couple for divorce
TROY HUELS

TROY HUELS

How Divorcees Should Understand the Process

Divorce is a big word often associated with stressful processes, feelings of sadness, and terrible heartbreak for the couple to be separated. However, what is sometimes forgotten along the way is how divorce can be the key to freedom from pressure and the vital ingredient for one’s true happiness.

Getting a divorce can be a difficult time for the family, especially for the kids. It is a hard situation to deal with, no matter what your background is. It shouldn’t be the case, though. If your marriage has been an unhappy one for a long time now, the process of divorce should be a relief. So how can you be a happy divorcee?

Is divorce the answer?

Before getting into the paperwork, ask yourself first if you have done everything in your capacity to save your marriage. You have made a lifelong commitment to your partner, and the responsibility of both of you to push through with that commitment, especially when kids are involved. Even if you and your partner have not been on good terms for a long time now, try to still communicate your concerns about your marriage before finalizing your decision.

One non-negotiable factor when it comes to divorce, though, is if your partner is abusive. This is a surefire reason for you to file a divorce for you and your children’s safety.

The Divorce Rate

Getting a divorce may seem lonely and isolating. When filing for a divorce, remember that you are not alone. Many people before you have taken a stand against their unhealthy relationships and have taken a big step towards a better future.

Around 50% of married couples in the United States of America file for a divorce. This shows that many couples have gone through the same process as you, and they survived it. Divorce will make your family better in the long run. You need to do what is right for now.

Prioritize the Kids

You and your partner’s children, especially if they are young, should be the priority when it comes to dealing with your divorce. Take the time to explain to them the reason behind your decision to finally part ways and remind them of their value.

Children may blame themselves for having a broken family. Let them know that the separation is not their fault and that you and your partner have decided that it is what is best for the family. Protect your child’s emotional and mental well-being by allowing them to talk to other friends and family about your current situation so that they can vent out their emotions. You may also opt to get them a guidance counselor to help them process their thoughts about the whole situation.

father and son

Keep your kids out of your arguments as a married couple. Children should not be put in the middle and left to decide which side they are on. This can put a strain on your relationship with your kids. This strain may manifest in their growing up years as resentment for both you and your partner. Going through a divorce is not a contest. Don’t make your kids the deciding body for grown-up decisions.

Self-care Time

While you need to prioritize the kids during this difficult process, you should also prioritize your well-being. It is a stressful situation for all of you, and a mental breakdown is not what you need during this time. Provide ample time for yourself to unclutter your mind and relax your body. Reach out to friends and family who can help you emotionally. Consult a therapist, if you must. Make sure you don’t neglect yourself so you can be completely present for the whole process.

Keep It Civil

You and your soon-to-be ex-partner may have been getting into heated arguments recently, but that should not always be the case. Heated arguments might make matters worse when it comes to signing paperwork and conducting meetings with lawyers.

To deal with this, keep your divorce process civil. Hire arbitration and mediation lawyers to help both of you communicate clearly and intentionally without getting lost in translation. This will be beneficial for both of you because less time will be wasted on petty arguments and unsure decisions.

Freedom

Once you are free from your partner, congratulations! You have taken a big step towards self-improvement and have decided for the betterment of your family. Now, you can live your life without being tied to an unhealthy relationship. It is time for you to heal and move forward from your past. Forgive yourself for things you have done and things you could not do and learn from them. You are human, and you can move past this.

Getting a divorce is not the end of your life journey. It may simply be the beginning of a new adventure. Don’t be afraid. Make the healthier choice today.

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