There’s no denying that for a marriage to succeed, both parties must put in the work. However, women often get the short end of the stick. Not only are they expected to make their marriage work, but they must also raise a family and take care of the household. And the challenges are only compounded if they have a career. Men aren’t expected to choose between career and family, but it’s a serious problem for women.
Add marital problems to the mix, and no wonder that divorce rates are skyrocketing. Keeping a marriage afloat often seems like an impossible task. Some even joke that dissolving a marriage is easier than maintaining one, with the lawyers and services like Serve Index LLC. But contrary to popular belief, divorce isn’t the easy way out. A lot of bad things had to happen before a couple decides to call it quits. And even then, there’s no assurance that they’ll get the resolution they desire.
But before you make a final decision, you might want to try patching things up with your spouse. Any relationship can be healed if you both commit to understanding one another. It’s never too late to work on your marriage as long as both are willing to forgive each other. Here are a few tips to get you started.
1. Trust the process
A defeatist attitude will lead to a worse outcome. You need to enter the process with an open mind and a sincere hope that things will get better for you and your spouse. If you constantly bring up the threat of divorce, you’re only widening the gap that needs to be repaired. Civility and hope show your commitment to the process.
While there’s no assurance that the process will work, you need to start thinking that defeat isn’t an option. There’s no point in initiating the process if one of you has one foot out the door. Once broken, trust is complicated to repair, and no one can move forward unless both exert effort to treat the other with respect.
2. Spend quality time with your spouse
As much as we want to stay connected with our spouse, life often gets in the way. We live in an age when we can contact anyone, anywhere, anytime, and yet, we’ve become distant from the people that matter to us. If you can’t remember the last time you shared a laugh or talked to your spouse, then you know that something is wrong. All the tools in the world won’t help if you won’t use them to make your situation better.
There’s nothing like good old-fashioned quiet time to repair a lost connection. Make an effort to take an interest in your partner’s life. Even something as simple as asking about their day can go a long way in improving relations. Don’t forget that communication is a two-way process, and talking and listening go hand in hand.
3. Look beyond superficial changes
Change is an inherent feature of life, and everyone will change in response to their environment. However, people are fundamentally the same, even when they grow old. Their priorities and interests might not be the same, but they are still the same person deep inside. That said, you may no longer recognize the person you married all those years ago.
But how does that happen? If you only focus on the surface level, you will only see superficial changes that mean nothing in things’ grander scheme. Even if your spouse seems different, you might see that their core values remain the same if you look hard enough.
The bottom line
Repairing a marriage is fraught with challenges, and a single mistake can undo years of progress. But if you and your spouse want to remain together, you need to put in the work and start listening to one another.