man signing divorce agreement
TROY HUELS

TROY HUELS

Divorce and Separation: Five Steps to Successful Healing from Loss

There’s a song that goes, “When you love someone, you’ve got to learn to let them go.” This can mean a dozen different situations for couples, but it probably meant separation. If you are preparing for a divorce or breakup, or recently had one, then you might want to consider these bits of advice:

There’s No Perfect Couple

Every beautiful partnership has its darker side. Celebrities break up left and right, and even your friends can eventually fall apart. There are so many reasons behind separation, and you might be surprised at how even happy-looking couples still end their relationships. Some can be more surprising than others. You might not have expected or wanted to consider your own parting. These moments will happen, and trying to hold on to an unhappy or confused partnership will only damage you more than help you.

Severing Attachment Hurts

You’ll feel like this is going to rip your heart out. When you love someone and you’ve both decided to say goodbye to the relationship, it won’t be easy to leave it in the past. Don’t pretend to be immune to the pain of heartache. You’re a human being who’s developed attachment over the years, and that isn’t easy to forget or forgive. One thing you should remember is that the sooner you accept that you’re hurt and angry, the sooner you can begin the healing process.

Revenge Isn’t the Answer

Hunting for a competent divorce attorney in Albuquerque just to crack down on your soon-to-be ex-wife is an unhealthy way to go. Remember that when you’re dealing with separation, it’s best to be as unattached as you can. When you remember that the other person is still actually quite human, you’ll want to get everything done fast without much drama.

couple signing divorce papers

Don’t Suffer Alone

Even when the divorce is done, you’ll have to start getting used to waking up in bed without somebody to hold. This is a fact. Talk to someone about your feelings, and don’t let emotions take full control of you. A therapist can be helpful if you can afford it, but this is the perfect time to find a good and trustworthy friend to share your grief. Divulge the information to one or two people at a time so that you can all process the situation carefully and as straightforwardly as possible. Bigger crowds tend to corrupt information faster, and they might not keep your opinions about your ex.

Make it Easy on the Kids

Your children may never have been involved in the reasons you separated, but they’ll be permanently involved in the life outside of your relationship. Regardless who keeps them, your kids will bear a huge burden for the rest of their lives. It can take years to recover from it. Thus, if you want to have a word with your partner, do it in a safe, quiet, and secure place.

Whether it’s a breakup, a divorce, or annulment, goodbyes aren’t always the prettiest. Seeing someone you used to love and feel a connection with on the other fence is a downright blow to the guts. Despite all the misgivings and doubts, you’ll one day look back at this and feel no more hurt. Live it one day at a time.

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