Fairytales often tell us that after marriage, there is the “happily ever after”. But what they don’t tell us is what happens “after”. Unlike what these stories implied when we were kids, finding love and most importantly, being married, is not as easy as it seems.
In fact, a lot of partners encounter arguments and have fought every once in a while. In fact, Utah couples argue an average of 17 times a month! The outcome of these arguments, however, depends on how the couple decides to approach them.
Some couples may successfully talk out these arguments. Others may end up handling the problem in a more aggressive way. If it becomes physical, don’t be afraid to get professional help. Consult a domestic violence lawyer in Salt Lake City immediately, if this is the case. If you’re constantly arguing with your partner, here are possible reasons behind your fights.
1. Your Partner’s Personality
Personality should be something that is pretty much known to couples before they even get married. However, when clouded by the feeling of being in love, this aspect is often overlooked. Some people see an unfavorable personality as a dealbreaker. While others still think that their lover can change. This usually doesn’t happen even after marriage. This is why couples often argue about who’s insensitive, who’s too controlling, and so on.
2. Your Partner’s Friends
Whether you hate your partner’s friends or they hate yours, it’s safe to say that this can be a cause for arguments and fights. You may not completely hate your partner’s friends or vice versa. It can also be about what you or they do together with their friends. Perhaps your friends or your partner’s friends always drag you or your partner into trouble or scenarios that can put your relationship in hot water.
There is a saying that goes “Money is the root of all evil.” It’s especially true for married couples, as over a third of adults say that cash is a significant source of conflict in their relationships. Most money-related topics that strike an argument in couples are salaries, bills to pay, spending habits and even debts that need to be paid. Tackling money problems can actually become constructive and helpful for couples. But addressing it the wrong way, like blaming the other for not contributing, could lead to bigger and more serious fights.
If there’s anything the previous entries have in common, it’s that they’re born out of miscommunication or just a general lack of communication. Everyone expresses themselves differently. You may be confrontational about problems, while your partner is more reserved. It may take some time, adjustment from both parties, or even professional intervention, to improve the way you communicate with each other.
Having arguments is a normal part of any relationship. In fact, it may be a sign that you’re going to stay together for longer. It’s the way you argue that matters. As long as you’re taking it one problem at a time and understanding each other’s side, you’re on your way to a lasting and fulfilling relationship.